Mario Supreme

Can you juggle?

No, not properly. I can sort of do it, one goes up and I shuffle the other. It's a poor man's juggling.

What's the least interesting thing about you?

There aren't many interesting things about me so take your pick. Certainly not the fact my mum had a clown room. And that's not even about me.

Why did that lovely lady from Grimsby have a clown room? 

The lovely lady from Grimsby (who'd fallen arse backwards to becoming a quite famous Greek club singer despite not speaking the language) why did she have a clown room? I still don't know. But what I do know is that my brother and I shared a room. My mum and dad shared a room, despite his sleep apnoea. All because she had to have a clown room. It was a mixture of clown props she could use and clown-inspired stuff. She was chair of the PTA and would always dress up as a clown for my school events. It was only recently I realised it was odd to have a clown turn up to mark Ramadan or sports day in north Tottenham.

But in answer to your question, the least interesting thing about me is that I'm either eating or asleep. I don't leave a lot of time for contributing. 

Do you sing in the shower? 

I do. Phone speaker facing the tiles. I sing a lot of Dusty Springfield, Chet Baker and if it's pre-game then God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash. 

That's going through your head as you're cutting down men half your age?

Half my age and twice my size yes.

Where's the worst place you've sang at?

Boris Johnson's wedding.

Have you done a lot of weddings?

In the jazz band I was a part of we giggled a lot but would occasionally do private shows. They did Harry and Megan's, George Clooney's wedding anniversary etc.

What's Grimsby like in the summer? 

I haven't been since I was very young. I don't have a lot of family left in that neck of the woods? My mum left when she was 17 and probably has been back about 5 times.

Talk to me about Cyprus, is it important to you?

Cyprus is important to me. I've not been back in a while partly because we're from the occupied side. My dad was really affected by that war. Partly because I'd lost all the language and there's a bit of shame there. But I've been learning it again and I'm really looking forward to going back.
It's also a big part of my personality. I grew up amongst the big Cypriot diaspora of North London. I feel strongly associated to the area, it has its own accent and culture. We congregated in backgammon halls, cafes and churches (mainly for weddings and funerals because it's all in ancient Greek) I think the Greeks and Cypriots probably see the north London Cypriots the way Italians see New Jersey Italians.

I've often wondered how the old Cypriot boys are able to smoke, gamble and drink copious amounts of coffee all day?

They're all retired. The time they moved to the UK, I think housing was a lot more affordable. So most of the guys I grew up around had dry cleaners, fish and chip shops and houses. They can probably afford to sit and play backgammon all day in their retirement.

I feel like there was a big push in mental health and it's dropped off a bit. 

Everything does ebb, flow and oscillate quite a bit. I think people have got worn out of the 'it's okay not to be okay' rhetoric. Which is sad. But I get that people can end up distrusting the people that say the 'right things' and virtue signalled. At the moment it seems like quite a few people are getting drawn to people who they deem more authentic even if they're saying terrible things. Cue the Trumps of this world.

Did you have those CASIO keyboards at school?

Oh yeah. Casio are one of those companies that make everything. Kind of like Yamaha. Yahama motorbikes, great pianos, jet skis. Oh and of course guitars, Yamaha Pacifica. I remember when I was a kid, my dad took me to Las Vegas to see Celine Dion. I was just learning to play the guitar. 

No, stop there. What?

He had about twelve guitars and I was just learning. He takes me to a big old guitar workshop in Nevada, I was adamant that I needed this denim blue, reverse flying V guitar. My dad was having none of it. I should say I was about eleven and I’m so glad he didn’t let me have it. Years later I saved up and bought a Fender Strat. It got battered but it was great and I’ll have that for the rest of my life. I played about 500 shows with it.  

Why do you have a tattoo saying GODSPEED?

I was in the habit of describing myself as generationally strong, then I got the tattoo and my girlfriend at the time asked me if I thought I was really fast now too. But that’s not what it means. It reminds me to wish people well despite fallings out that I have had in the past.  But I also have DUCKY and BUCK tattooed.

Why?

Ducky is a northern term of endearment that my grandfather used to call me. Buck is the position that I was told I was too small to play in American football.

Proved them wrong?

Didn’t I just. Smallest D-Lineman in Europe by pretty much every metric but I’m pretty good. Most of them are about 40kg heavier than me. I’m just disproportionately strong for my size, but I also just love a scrap. There are certain areas of play where my lack of size shows but only when agains a really skilled big boy.